end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
