he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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