Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
