it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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