When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
