Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
