Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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