ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
