unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
