my phone needs a breathalizer
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
