sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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