it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize