I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
