My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Can i not drive my cunt home
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
