I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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