just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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