Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
