dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
