We're like a lot better than the average bears
Please, let me fuck your mom
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
