what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
