Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
