We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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