No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
