Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just forgot I was standing up.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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