Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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