About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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