shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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