Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
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Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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