Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
