They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
