The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish you could order shots online.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
