did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
