I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
