just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
