drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
