I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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