She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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