"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
