Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
