I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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