It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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