Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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