North Korea, Best Korea!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
