we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
