GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
