Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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