girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
