Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
