Your face is a jimmy john
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
