um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
