i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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