How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
