Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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