im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Never underestimate the power of titties
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
