It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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