i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
