well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
