My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
