Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
