god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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