Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
