is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
