You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
