sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
