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Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So much rum. So many feels.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
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