And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize