Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.