Can i not drive my cunt home
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.