She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
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Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.