that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
