Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
