No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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